I can only write this from the perspective of a British woman who has grown up, experienced life in the UK as part of wider western society in the 21st century
The structure of woman’s society, mainly in the 21st western century is a very convoluted and complex one in my personal opinion.
We still live in a world where both subtle and blatant patronising, patriarchal, archaic, idiotic, testosterone fulled sexism exists.
In a world where women have a lot more freedom, are more prevalent in the boardroom, government and other high powered, high paid jobs come’s a world strife with bitching narcissism where it’s ok to turn on each other and stab each other in the back and it’s ok because it’s another woman and not a man doing it. BITCH REALLY? It’s not ok for a man to do that but it’s ok for another woman to do that? In what reality does that make sense?
I find it rather ironic that we have these two polar opposites in western society. You are not a true feminist if you act all coy, sexy and show every inch of skin and feel confident enough in your own skin and sexual freedom/liberation to do so. On the other hand, you’re not a true woman, deserving of the title if you don’t wear the latest fashion have your hair cut a certain way, pander to the sexual desires of every piggish man and act how every woman should in the 21st century.
Granted a lot of the idea’s, images, trends and ‘Norms’ that are thrown our way are highly industrialised by an industry whose only intent is to sell us the idea that we have to behave and look a certain way so that they can earn money for their luxury holiday’s billion dollar houses and expensive cars whilst we get left with conflicting emotions that could potentially lead to a mental health crisis.
However, some women think the bee all and end all come back to this is to completely desexualise womanhood in order to create less distraction for all parties. Men won’t think of us in a sexual manner and women won’t have to worry about being too sexy or not sexy enough.
In my humble opinion? Both parties are completely in the wrong and are perpetuating this toxic way of living that we have found ourselves in.
No, we most certainly don’t have to rely on our looks to get us places and anyone, woman or man that solely does that is really rather simple and doesn’t know the meaning of true, honest hard work that is both physically and intellectually challenging.
But neither do we have to feel like we’re letting ourselves go. Each woman and man can decide for themselves if they want to wear makeup, shave, dress a particular way. We should never be dictated to by others on how we MUST look. As long as we are in good general physical and mental health and don’t stink than everything else is of no-one else business but my own thank you very much.
Social norms contrite, conceited idea’s about what it means to be a man or a woman are archaic, pathetic, misogynistic, damaging and downright ludicrousness. I refuse to pay my money into an industry that thinks it knows what I want to wear and what I want to look like and shoves a skeleton masquerading as a woman with airbrushed checks down my throat to try and force me to buy their products to achieve that manufactured and totally fake image of perfect because it’s nothing but a lie that is just too hard to maintain. That’s not me but if that’s another person idea of heaven then I won’t stop them.
If I don’t shave my legs and armpits for a month does that mean I’m any less sexy? No. If I decide I want to wear makeup one day does that instantly mean I’m self-conscious, vain, egotistical or oversexualizing myself? HELL TO THE NO. It simply means I want to wear makeup. Why does it have to have about a million reasons about three-quarters of which seem to be linked to sex in some way?
Being a woman is not about conforming to a man’s idea that women should look dolled up every day and never leave the kitchen and it doesn’t mean that I have to look ugly as hell or ‘slutty’ to be intelligent and succeed in a male-oriented world.My
Feminism should be about letting us be free to express ourselves in the manner in which we choose and be emotionally, mentally, intellectually, financially, sexually liberated without feeling ridiculed by both men and women alike for being too much of one thing and not enough of the other.
If I like and appreciate the fact that a date offers to buy me a cup of coffee dinner or a cinema ticket, regardless of their gender then why shouldn’t that happen? I don’t give two flying fucks if people think I should be the one buying a man drinks and dinner, I’ll do that if I want to but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate that once in a while and doesn’t mean I’m instantly thinking ‘great a penis who can protect and own me financially’ no I’m thinking ‘great a person who cares enough to want to take me out somewhere and spend time with me’.
Life isn’t about telling someone to act, look or behave a certain way based on their gender. If that person is a good, moral individual who treats others with respect and doesn’t try and control, own, degrade disrespect, abuse or try and course someone into being different for the sake of it then free expression of individuality is the most important life hack of all.
We are strong because we are different we aren’t all uniform robots operating under the same programme. Beauty isn’t about being perfect. It’s about making the decisions that get us to where we need to be, knowing and expressing who we are as individual people, accepting our differences, being intelligent and expressing our opinions, learning and broadening our horizons. Beauty is about being authentic to ourselves.
Hating on others because they dare act in a way that doesn’t fit in the misogynistic fashion of feminism that some people pander to is madness. No two women are the same, no two human beings are the same, there is no one size fits all. We shouldn’t be prohibiting women or making people feel they have to move from one extreme to another. We are not here to be controlled and manipulated by anyone else but ourselves. We need to be our own spokesperson. We are not here to please the base needs of others. We are strong, independent, intelligent, sexy bitches who can achieve anything.