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I’ll decide what it means to be a woman

Hi everyone I hope you’ve had a good weekend so far and enjoying the lovely weather. Let’s just hope this weather keeps its steam up and lasts us until September.

Today I want to talk to you about how I feel about being a woman in today’s society. I won’t be writing from any particular political or feminist movement viewpoint per say. I only want to write down my feelings and thoughts on my personal experiences and views.

I want to start off by saying that I’ve not always been a girly girl nor will I ever be, needless to say, that I’m not the definition of a tomboy or a butch lesbian either. I am in a very comfortable middle ground. And you know what? I’m perfectly happy with that. I don’t feel the need to always conform to societies view of what a woman should or shouldn’t be.

I may not always be happy in my skin. I sometimes wish I was taller I stand at a mere 5′, and that can be rather difficult when trying to reach things on higher shelves. I wish my boobs could be a more rounded shape as I feel they are rather cone shaped at times. Other than that I’m pretty much happy with the way I look. I don’t feel the need to change my appearance with a shit tonne of plastic surgery or liposuction, makeup or clothing just to please someone else’s ideals of beauty.

I’ll wear clothes that make me feel comfortable, leave my hair as an unruly mess, or straighten it if I want to. I’ll only wear makeup if my skin is nasty or if I can ever be bothered to do it, which is hardly ever and I’ll only shave if I’m going swimming. See I don’t feel the need to wear the latest fashions have my eyebrows constantly on point, have a full face of makeup every day or be completely hairless just because it’s considered acceptable and appropriate for women to do so.

Living under the thumb of social norms and pressure is a constant nightmare and doesn’t do anyone any good. We have all become so used to judging others by the way they dress, act and present themselves. The constant bombardment of women’s magazines, celebrity elevation and the media, in general, has brainwashed us all, me included. None of us can pretend that even on the most subconscious level we don’t want to constantly try and present the best sides of ourselves.

The explosion of social media sites such as Instagram, snapchat and Pinterest and the many filters that come along with them have created a generation of people who feel the urge to post their whole lives to the world. The emulation of peers and celebrities is such an attractive draw for so many that we forget to be who we are at times

Yes, I’ll admit that I have been a victim of this overshare drive. I have ranted on Facebook or posted a bazillion holiday snaps and even done a terrible job and trying to improve selfies. I’ll admit that I’m one of many who wants to prove to others that I’ve having a fabulous life and I’m looking good while doing it.

In fact, I’m just a regular person. I binge watch shows I listen to the music that I’m into I read, just a little bit you understand; I spend most of my time at work or home and occasionally meeting up with my closest friends. And that is the boring truth of it. But you know what? I’m content with it as of this moment in time. So it may not be the most adventure filled life, but it’s the one that suits me best and I shouldn’t have to go round changing anything about it to please others. If I do so, it’ll be for my development, growth and fulfilment.

My life shouldn’t be dictated to by others based upon my gender. Why should I be seen as any less than what I am because I have breasts instead of a penis? Sure there are obvious physical differences that can lead to differences in physical strength and women are far more likely to be empathetic and nurturing than men. However, that’s not to say that these ‘rules’ or stereotypes apply across the board in 100% of the male or female population.

For example, there are many women in athletics who are bodybuilders, weight lifters, martial artists and so on and so forth. On the other end there are plenty of men who work in the care sector, work with children, are nurses, or provide valid and crucial emotional support to those around them. Not all women love shopping, I know I get tired and frustrated if I can’t find what I want within two seconds flat. I can only sustain shopping if I’m plied with chocolate and fizzy drinks or better yet alcohol. Not all men are sporty, and women can and do love sex just as much as men. Men can and are sensitive, and some females may be emotionally ‘stunted’ or strong.

It is simply that both women and men will use their unique physicality and emotional state of being to be able to apply particular physical or emotional strengths and capabilities that are unique to them but may be perseverance as uniquely male or female rather than individual. The thing is we seem to teach and ingrain these traits that boys don’t cry and girls can’t love sports or maths and science from a very early age in life. This is a very damaging and intellectually stunting trait we have as a whole.

I wrote an entire post about the fact that I do taekwondo. I have also mentioned on numerous occasions that I’m not the tallest person in the world. However, this advantage of short stature is surprisingly beneficial for me to maximise my power if ever I needed to defend myself. I may not be the most physically powerful person in the world, but I can use everything that I have and am to maximise every chance I can take. I can utilise what I know works best for me to achieve the power I know I’m capable of.

Life’s about accepting that, yes there are certain benefits and disadvantages to both genders but accepting and fully realising who you are as an individual and not simply falling into gender stereotypes because it’s ‘easier’. Learning who you are, how you react and grow is a life long lesson and if we ever think we’ve stopped learning then we become stale, emotionally, socially, intellectually out of date individuals.

I’m not the same person that I was when I was 16 or even 18. Nor would I want to be. I mean the essentials of my personality are the same, but I’ve grown up, matured, changed for the better. I know that I’ve got a whole lifetime to explore and expand my horizons, broaden my mind and expand and feel more comfortable in the person that I’ll morph into.

I know that I’m a socialist and I love working with children. That’s a part of my personality that has grown and become more developed. With that knowledge, I can focus my energy and time on the tings that are important to me and that I want to improve upon by looking at different avenues in which to develop my knowledge and skills.

Playing to my strengths sets me aside from both gender stenotypes and others. I’m not an identical match of some other random woman or man that I’ve never met before. My reactions, beliefs, emotional and intellectual outlooks and general state of being is purely me. Yes, I can be influenced by others and different information and how I’m feeling mentally and emotionally, but that’s part and parcel of being … wait, get this? … HUMAN. Not merely FEMALE but HUMAN. We all view the world differently and will have our unique outlook regarding a different state of affairs.

I should never be made to feel like a second class citizen in any situation just because I’m female. I’m a human being who deserves exactly equal rights as every other person in the world. I should be allowed to feel that I can do and be whatever I want regardless of my gender. If girls want and can be the next Neil Armstrong then why shouldn’t they be? If a boy wants to be the next BeyoncĂ© why can’t he?

Pink isn’t my favourite colour, I don’t and can’t always do my makeup to perfection, I don’t keep up with the Kardashians. I’ve never even bothered with the latest diet fads or been obsessed with what a celebrity is wearing or who they’re dating. I never had a Barbie when I was younger preferring to climb trees instead.

Don’t even get me started on commercials, especially those relating to house cleaning products or perfumes. Why is it that any house cleaning product is always advertised with women using it? So what we’re supposed to be the stay at home housewife and mum raising the kids? Like fuck off mate, men are perfectly capable of doing some hard graft in the kitchen or bathroom. And why is it that perfume adds always show a man and a woman always being all sexy with each other? First of all, mate that seems to me that it says that if you don’t have a good perfume, you can’t be sexually attractive which is just a dumb and illogical idea. Secondly, why is it always a man and a woman? How about representing more lesbian, transgender and gay relationships in commercials? And finally why are men and women portrayed as merely sexual beings anyway in those adverts? WHY? For all that is holy WHY?

This divide we still have between genders is astonishing. Although It is hidden and shrouded in ‘advancements’ we, even in the western world have a long way to go before gender equality is neutralised. Even down to names women still get hollered at them from some idiot who will think he’s being all emasculated by shouting ‘baby’, ‘gorgeous’, no I think you’ll find my name is Ellie and unless I’m in a long-term committed relationship with someone I won’t answer to anything else.

So before I carry on too much more and bore you completely to death with my massive ramble, I shall love you and leave you until next time my lovelies. :).